I used to believe that dying by my own hand was the only way I could atone for my transgressions against friends, family, myself, and God. In a strange way it would be my return to Him and the cease to my cycle of hollow repentance. In my mind, this solution singularly applied to myself. But that view, and the marring it bore, came from a superficial understanding of who I claimed to follow.
As I began to understand the faith I inherited, I found the death I craved was the death unto self and by doing so, to be united to Christ, to be partake in His Resurrection. Though I’ve emerged from the waters as a new creation, the scars cling still. However, I am bearing a lighter weight. I can have hope in the grief of living.
Thanatos tells the story of this process, through confusion and feeling stripped down to nerves to receiving a blank slate and coming out re-configured as a new being who may look like that of before. I seek to portray how my faith has subdued my desire for death and trust in Him will rescue me from my moments of hopelessness.
He has conquered Thanatos.